cipher

Thunderstorms again, and with each flash I count the miles between soul and spirit, closing fast, thinking of what if and what to say.

Between you and me, I miss it. How’s that for a start.

A start, but will a last act follow before it’s curtains, you ask? Yes, certainly, without a doubt, though I’m afraid it’ll just be words again.

Words like a bottled message to a someday later me you might someday later one day meet, if we’re lucky, if I ever get on a plane again.

It’s striking, again, and I wait for the rumble after the flash of thought of trying to alter present conceptions of self by internally revising past interactions as though changing my own remembrance translates to changing minds I can’t even know are set and past presents which no longer are, astonished by the supreme lack of profundity in that.

And out goes another batch of words rattling around in another bottle and I imagine the thunderclap is the glass shattering against a wholly different façade, somewhere out there again, out between fact and wish.

It’s a matter of is and isn’t, grays and approximates, selves swathed in raincloaks, shelters sought, the way I speak to you—to anyone—from angles, the same way I cast glances at the anyones on the train, around the city, in the corners and cabinets of my memory and imagination, and always have, there and here, never straight on, active onlooker obscured by obliques with only partial truths to tell and all the rest nestled between the lines, again.

 


Originally published on Hijacked Amygdala here.

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About mischa

I write things about stuff, and sometimes stuff about things. Depends on the day.