futility is the way home

I was sick. Sometimes I think it’s too bad I don’t really write poetry. This may or may not be one of those times. Sometimes I think it’s too bad I find such pleasure in simple ambiguity. It’s like finding freedom in the lost and found. True to irregularity, the cruelest joke to play.

The other day I thought I’d write something called A CONFESSION and it would consist of the following five words: I am not my thoughts.

My thoughts thought of many appendages to that first statement, some clever jibe or playfully self-debasing affront or cryptically somnambulary touch of angst, but none felt anything much other than contrived. And contrived, I’ve learned, is not good.

The fact was, my thoughts had again turned less than beneficial to my general health and I needed something to call them, needed to call them something because calling them something is control and also sometimes art, though this is not why I say I was sick. I say I was sick because I truly was, and it truly was unpleasant, and now I’ve truly changed the subject, true to form.

5 thoughts on “futility is the way home

    1. I think that falls within my favorite futility–gratitude. Thank you so much for the mention. It’s wonderful enough that you enjoy reading my stuff; it’s even more wonderful that you’d enjoy it enough to share it with others.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Your recent writings have been demanding much of my comprehension skills, M. 🙂
    “I am not my thoughts.” I’m a believer as regard to externalizing one’s inner monologues yet there are some things I’ve lost bravery for. Social media can be a perfect breeding ground for misunderstandings and misinterpretations. Once or twice I myself had been accused of sth I was clueless about.

    You might’ve seen a couple of pics (from you) I’d included years ago to my collection merely for my viewing pleasure. I’ll take them down if you say so. Thank you for dropping by. Hope you are doing well and feeling better nowadays.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I hope you are doing well too. You’re right about social media being a breeding ground–we’re not really people here, we’re personas. No worries about the pics; I appreciate that you liked them. And they’re in good company, my persona says, especially with the foxy ladies.


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About mischa

I write things about stuff, and sometimes stuff about things. Depends on the day.